The wife and I spent the majority of our weekend in
\nbirth preparation classes. We learned all about dilation,
\neffacement, contractions, pain medication, and much more.
\n10 hours of birth talk does something to you: it makes
\nyour butt hurt. Well, it was that or the seriously
\nuncomfortable chairs.<\/p>\n
Some of it, I knew. I knew there would be pain.
\nI knew that something quite large was going to exit
\nthe wife’s body.
\nMost of it filled in the blanks. What
\nwill grow to ten centimeters? How long are the
\ncontractions? When should we head to the hospital?
\nWhat does an epidoral involve? How does the baby
\nget out? I guess there were a lot of blanks.<\/p>\n
I don’t believe I pictured birth to be such a long, involved
\nprocess. The television always forces the parents-to-be
\nto spring out the door to the hospital. There’s always a
\nrush. It’s always coming right now<\/b><\/i>.
\nLet’s hope the taxi driver knows how to deliver a
\nbaby.
\nApparently, most births aren’t like that at all.
\nThey take a while — sometimes a long while. There’s
\ntime to relax (in fact, it’s encouraged). There’s
\neven time to catch some football on T.V. (note to self:
\nedit this out before the wife gets to read it).<\/p>\n
The videos weren’t nearly as graphic I had thought, I couldn’t help but compare the whole process to a soldier We have our battle plan. It’s all written in a little booklet Somehow the other side of the hospital door no longer feels The wife and I spent the majority of our weekend in birth preparation classes. We learned all about dilation, effacement, contractions, pain medication, and much more. 10 hours of birth talk does something to you: it makes your butt hurt. Well, it was that or the seriously uncomfortable chairs. Some of it, I knew. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=56"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=56"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=56"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plan.thewoottons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=56"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nor hoped, they would be. No placenta graced the screen.
\nNone of the aftermath was filmed.
\nThe view of epidoral was obstructed. The cesarean
\nwas mostly viewed from the mom’s side of the sterile cloth.
\nI don’t want to say that I wanted see to blood, mess, sweat,
\nand tears. I just wanted the videos to shock any of the
\nimpending horror out of me. I didn’t think the
\nDiscovery channel <\/a>
\nhad already done such a good job.<\/p>\n
\napproaching the battle lines. Sure we’ve thought, and talked,
\na lot about it, but all the facts kind of hit you head on.
\nAll of a sudden, you can hear the bombs dropping in the distance.
\nLights flash over the horizon. The roar of the transport
\ndrowns out the shouts from your commander. You are well on
\nyour way. You check your watch. Your heart rises just a bit in
\nyour chest.<\/p>\n
\nwe took home from class. Our expectations have been rounded
\ninto to place. Don’t have too many. Each pregnancy, and each
\nwoman, is quite different. Knowledge is now our weapon.
\nPractice your breathing. Get your rest. Drink lots and lots
\nof fluid. You do have your bag packed — don’t you?<\/p>\n
\nso far away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"