Giving Credit Where Credit is Due
I’ve come to a conclusion, a conclusion that every store in the world
has yet to grasp: personal credit card swipe machines are useless –
totally and utterly useless.
You know the kind. Stop by the cash register of any store, be in
Best Buy,
Walmart,
Sears, or
Giant,
and an innocent looking grey or black box awaits a quick slash of your plastic,
just peering at your card like a hungry animal.
Life (at least life in the middle to late nineties) used to be simple.
Ring up my order, grab my plastic, and hand me the paper to sign.
The transaction between myself and cashier was quick, simple, and
largely the same from one store to the next. If you are lucky, they
may even glance at your signature and comment that you look nothing
like you do on TV. Debit and check cards were in vogue – as well they should be
(what is this cash thing I keep hearing about, by the way) – and
all was well with the world.
The ever present push of technology, however, spoiled this simple concept.
Someone, somewhere had the brilliant idea of taking the card swipe away
from the cashier. I’m not real sure on the reasoning here. Was
that act of card swiping just too complicated for the average cashier?
If so, who would think that the average consumer, without the aid of
literally hours of training, would be up to the task? Think
of all the time you’ll save. Yeah, right.
That someone didn’t realize that the average consumer is an idiot. Ever stand
behind someone trying to figure one of these things out?
Despite the fact that they exist in nearly every store in
existence, I’m almost willing to swear that everyone in front of me in line
is seeing them for the first time. They stare at the contraption like
it’s
Pandora’s Box, tempting its evils to be unleashed.
You can almost hear the thought process:
“Where do I slide the card? Do I slide it up or down? Oops, I must have
flipped it around wrong. Nope, maybe I had it right the first time.
What’s this – a question? Is $3.86 ok? I think so. Let’s see, I had
a pack of gum, a bottle of water, and that magazine explaining that aliens
really do exist. Or was it two packs of gum?
“How would I like to pay for it? There are so many choices. I could
put it in on my credit card but the hubby might get upset. I could use
the debit option but I’m not sure what that does. What about my gas card?
Can I use my gas card?”
>
At this point, the cashier normally snatches the card from the patron
and completes the transaction for them; rendering the little machine
worthless. I happily beam from the back of the crowd.
Thank you, kind sir or madam for ending this travesty.
The machine itself sulks – its impotency revealed for all to see.
Cashiers seem so relieved when I appear to have a brain (note that appearing
to have a brain is normally as close as I often get) and seem to have a clue
how to work the machine. Pause ever so slightly while looking at the display
and a long digit of the cashier is almost certain to work its way in there,
prompting you along, eagerly forwarding this transaction towards
the next.
The fact that every store has a different one, each with its own tricks
and nuances doesn’t help the matter. I’d sign on the digital dotted line
if only I could see the display through all the ink that is written on it.
The department stores, grocery stores, and this and that stores of
the world need to stand up and declare that these things are useless –
totally and utterly useless. Your cashiers don’t like them.
Your customers don’t like them. You were duped. The eskimo bought the
refrigerator. The only result is a social experiment that we all
live every time we make a purchase. Take them away and lock them away
with the other failed ideas of the century, like
Betamax.
Please!
Laura
August 22nd, 2002 at 11:19 am #
HEY!!!!! There was nothing wrong with Betamax!!!! I still have one and lots of tapes. It plays beautifully and was, in it’s time, FAR superior to VHS.
Of course if the thing breaks, who’s gonna repair it? I know! All those people that took TV/VCR repair courses from Sally Struthers!
Porter
August 23rd, 2002 at 8:43 pm #
Just do what I do — ignore these stupid little boxes entirely and just hand your card to the cashier. Sometimes they’ll roll they’re eyes and reach over and flip the card through the box on the counter as if to say, “Was that so difficult, you moron?” But most times they swipe it through the reader in their register and process the sale quicker than if I had done it. They’re not just getting paid to stand there, after all.
Also, Betamax died because Sony wouldn’t license the format to porn studios, not because it was inferior to VHS.
Mom and Barry
August 24th, 2002 at 9:04 pm #
Ken, Ken, Ken. What about the generation before there was plastic and even before you oculd write a check to pay for something. Believe it or not – that’s the way its was and not sooo long ago. You walked up to the cashier, the bill was $3.05 and oh my, guess what, you had to use green bills and coins to pay for these items. If you did’t have the cash, you did not get the items! I guess it’s a little hard to acutally beleive that’s the way it was, but times were much simpler and lines moved much faster. After all, if individuals didn’t have the money, they didn’t get in line. If you really think about it, it wasn’t so bad that way. At least, you didn’t get hit with a credit card bill once a month or even have to woory about subtracting it from your checking account. I suppose for your grandparents there was even an easier way. Love, Mom and Barry
Ken
August 24th, 2002 at 11:55 pm #
Yeah, grandmom and pop pop would just trade water buffalo.